Self Esteem & Confidence

Why do I question myself?

Why can’t I make a decision?

How can anyone believe in me when I don’t believe in myself?

Why can’t I be confident like my friends?

When that voice inside our heads (our inner voice) is giving us these messages it could be signalling that we do not value ourselves, our self esteem is low or we lack confidence.

Self Esteem is how we think and feel about ourselves. When it’s healthy, we feel positive about ourselves, and life in general. Self Esteem & confidence help us deal with whatever is thrown at us. However when our Self Esteem is low, we are very self critical, we view ourselves and our life negatively, we give ourselves a hard time. If Low Self Esteem persists over an extended period of time we can find ourselves feeling unable to cope with life’s ups and downs and it can harm our mental health and the way we live our lives.

Low Self-Esteem can hit us like a lightening bolt or build up over time and can start as early as childhood.

When we are young, we are like a sponge craving learning & absorbing everything. Everybody and everything we interact with (including the media in all it’s forms especially social media) sends out messages about us, positive and negative and we eagerly learn and absorb them. However, our minds have a strange way of keeping hold of the negative and some how the messages that we aren’t good enough are the ones we hold onto and stick in our minds.

We can set ourselves incredibly high expectations or try hard to please others to live up to their expectations and this takes it’s toll. Any failure to meet those expectations, no matter how small, can knock our Confidence and lower our Self Esteem.


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Life has a habit of throwing lots of stresses at us throughout our lives, difficult life events, the loss of loved ones, accidents, serious illness (to name but a few) and they affect us differently. Sometimes they can have a serious impact and have a negative effect on our Self-esteem and Confidence, particularly when several are thrown our way at once.

And then there are some of us who are just more prone to negative thinking, it’s part of our personality.

Some people can appear to take any and everything in their stride however we all react differently, sometimes we run or hide away, avoid social events and hold back from trying new things. We can avoid anything where we perceive we are under pressure or scrutiny. The desire to hibernate and draw into ourselves takes over. Whilst this provides a short term answer, over time it can stop being an answer and become more of a problem holding us back from living a fulfilling life. Some of us look for other ways to cope seeking solace in habits such as comfort eating, under eating, drinking too much, smoking or taking drugs.

It is hard living with Low Self-Esteem it can be draining and harmful for our mental health and can even contribute to depression and anxiety.
So what can we do there must be ways to help?

And there are, talking based therapies, working to change our perception of ourselves. Working to concentrate on our strengths and starting to see weaknesses as strengths.

Together with Hypnotherapy which works with our subconscious to access some of the learned beliefs and behaviours which affect our Confidence and Self Esteem, helping us to develop new more positive beliefs and behaviours, enabling us to live fuller lives and achieve our goals.

I found Nicki, by luck online. I had been looking for someone who knew something about regression, as I felt that this was something that would help me through some of the struggles I was having day to day.

Nicki and I met, and instantly I felt at ease, and I knew that there was an enormous trust where I could explain to her the issues I felt were holding me back – I would relay them through this testimonial, but honestly, you would think I was insane. Nicki didn’t.

Nicki managed to decipher what I needed help with – self esteem and confidence.

You see, most people reading this will not know me. I have a reputation. A reputation for being late, scatty, a joker and someone who never sticks to anything for 5 minutes – I fall in love with things and ideas, but I am very forgetful and become easily confused. I also have zero confidence, so I have become very good at putting on armour and adapting to social environments, trying desperately hard to fit in and becoming invisible.

Nicki instantly through listening found my Achilles heel. Confidence and self esteem.

I had been so busy bringing up my 4 children, I had forgotten me. I had forgotten my strengths and what I needed to maintain me and my well being. I wanted a job. I wanted to feel that I was contributing to my family – Money is tight, and I was feeling worthless. I was failing at interviews, to the point where I had literally, given up. I felt that people thought I was stupid and actually wanted me to fail.

Through Nicki, I discovered that I am a thinker who uses the right side of my brain. I am someone who is creative, who finds it extremely difficult to convey thoughts, feelings and actions in words. I am someone who is so aware of others that I put others before myself – to my detriment.

Nicki made me realise that actually by making myself important, I am far more able to help others and make a positive impact, generally.

I had, as it transpires, tried so hard to please others and serve others, I was actually suffering myself and making myself deeply unhappy and worthless.

Through hypnotherapy and much needed talking therapy, I have found it has made a hugely positive impact on my life and general well being. I now embrace me. Yes, I am quirky and different, but I do have a lot to offer.

I recently applied for a job in a creative capacity. I didn’t have the academic qualifications that they were asking for, but I knew that I was the person for that job. I applied. I wholeheartedly believed that this was my job. With Nicki,’s help, I focused on my positives, I focused on making my future employers seeing me and my potential.

Thanks to her, and belief, loving myself for all the right qualities, I got an interview and was offered the job, which I accepted, that afternoon.

I now work in a job that I love. Tasks that I am asked to do, which before I would have declined, I now do without question.

I have been there some time now, and I love it. I love who I work with and I love the freedom of creativity it brings me. They gave me a staff appraisal, and they love me for who I am, and my enthusiasm. I have already been offered the chance of training and the chance to teach a subject that I adore. I am actually discovering what it is like to have others believe in me – I am no longer the clown. I am appreciated and contributing to my family.

I am now on a new journey at 45 years old. I feel worthy, and I am feeling respected and relied upon – something I haven’t felt since before I had my children. I am me. HK - Dereham

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